“The Winds of Overwhelming Shame”

by Pnina Omer

Jerusalem Post Op-Ed –  30/05/2016

The ongoing comedy of domestic violence only exposes the success stories: when he succeeds in cutting her life short, he gains immortal fame. Journalists and neighbors cluck their tongues; acquaintances and strangers cry over the victim and talk about how fragile/brave she was, how many times she reported him to authorities/remained silent, how often she escaped the home/stayed by his side.

An interesting study examined the emotional motives of abusive men. A violent man is one who has hope – he continues to believe he can control her life until the end of time. His hope is her night- mare, a twisted worldview expressed through various forms of violence. A man who murders his wife is a desperate man, one who has realized that he does not, after all, have the ability to control her life, inextricably intertwined with his.
When we count the cases of women who have been murdered by their significant other each year, what are we really counting? Are we measuring our preventative ability? Does a drop in the number of murders indicate a drop in the rate of violence? It appears not; there is no evidence of reduced violence against women throughout the world, whether or not fewer are ultimately murdered.  Click to read the full article on the Jerusalem Post website… 
Pnina Omer is the director of OTS’s Yad L’isha: the Monica Dennis Goldberg Legal Aid Center and Hotline.